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Hilarious take down of the 850/S70

Help, Advice and DIY Tutorials on Volvo's extremely popular car line -- Volvo's 1990s "bread and butter" cars -- powered by the ubiquitous and durable Volvo inline 5-cylinder engine.

1992 - 1997 850, 850 R, 850 T5-R, 850 T5, 850 GLT
1997 - 2000 S70, S70 AWD
1997 - 2000 V70, V70 AWD
1997 - 2000 V70-XC
1997 - 2004 C70

wrybread
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Hilarious take down of the 850/S70

Post by wrybread » Sun May 05, 2019 4:47 pm

I'm loving the new YouTube genre of car nuts reviewing cars, and my two favorites are RegularCars and Doug Demurro. Every one of their reviews are pretty much awesome. The RegularCars guy is significantly more, well, "edgy", and this rant about the 850 cracks me up every time, and I think it equally applies to the S70, possibly more so. Fair warning, it's not what you'd call "safe for work" or even most homes...



There's so many hilarious lines. My favorites:

Are you ready to commit yourself to this level of uncoolness? There's no irony here. Are you ready to commit yourself to the vehicular equivalent of a running shoe?

The Volvo 850 is a joke so clean you can tell it in church.

The engine moans like a retiree trying to use a smartphone.

Trying to make this car fun is like trying to make a used envelope exciting.

Some will say the interior falls apart no matter what you do. (Amen!)

If you bother taking care of it, it will be reliable. (Amen!)

It's amazing that these still exist after Cash for Clunkers.

And my personal favorite: If a Dodge Neon is a dude texting "you up???" to a married woman at 3am, and a Pontiac Sunfire is a woman with Lee Press-On nails who's always getting UTI's because she can't be bothered to pee after sex, then the Volvo 850 is the guy who shows up to his high school reunion and confuses everyone because they could have sworn he was dead.

------------------

Incidentally here's his takedown (I mean review) of the 240 (fair warning, has a really rough beginning and ending, significantly less safe for work than the previous one):



Hipsters!!!

And if anyone likes this genre and doesn't know Doug Demurro, his review of the Cadillac Brougham D'Elegance is one of my favorites, and he's downright wholesome compared to RegularCars:

Last edited by wrybread on Mon May 06, 2019 2:23 am, edited 1 time in total.



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June
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Re: Hilarious take down of the 850/S70

Post by June » Sun May 05, 2019 5:07 pm

I love Doug Demurro! His review of the 1977 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz is hilarious! I grew up with those big GM cars and to see the take of a Millenial on real American cars is funny. Also watch his Yugo review it's my second favorite. June

That guy reviewing the 850 is a moron and doesn't deserve hits on reviews like that!!!


My Volvo cars owned
1989 740 GLT ordered
1994 850 4door standard shift ordered
1996 960 ordered
1998 S90 ordered totalled after 3 weeks
1998 V70 GT dealer stock car
2002 S80 T6 ordered totalled
2004 S80 T6 dealer stock car and current car owned

wrybread
Posts: 125
Joined: Sat Apr 20, 2019 4:18 pm
Year and Model: 2000 S70
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Re: Hilarious take down of the 850/S70

Post by wrybread » Sun May 05, 2019 5:34 pm

That guy reviewing the 850 is a moron and doesn't deserve hits on reviews like that!!!
To be fair I think he'd agree with that statement... To keep it period specific, him and Doug Demurro are like David Letterman versus Johnny Carson. Or the Simpsons versus Southpark. Early, super rough Southpark, ha.



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Re: Hilarious take down of the 850/S70

Post by June » Sun May 05, 2019 5:57 pm

Doug Demurro is comical rather than just stupid. Of course it's my opinion. There is a more tasteful way of destroying a car on a review...

Actually I love it when Doug says "That's it!, that's all you get!" Like on his 90 Lexus 400 review referring to it only having three ac fan speeds. LOL June


My Volvo cars owned
1989 740 GLT ordered
1994 850 4door standard shift ordered
1996 960 ordered
1998 S90 ordered totalled after 3 weeks
1998 V70 GT dealer stock car
2002 S80 T6 ordered totalled
2004 S80 T6 dealer stock car and current car owned

wrybread
Posts: 125
Joined: Sat Apr 20, 2019 4:18 pm
Year and Model: 2000 S70
Location: California
Has thanked: 8 times
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Re: Hilarious take down of the 850/S70

Post by wrybread » Sun May 05, 2019 6:21 pm

Yeah I'm a huge fan of Doug too. And he's admittedly the better reviewer, I'd call him the gold standard, and he certainly has a much wider appeal. I could watch his reviews all day. And at first I thought the RegularCars guy was just a goofball too, but now after watching a bunch of his vids I actually think he's a great writer. Like Southpark it's hidden in a lot of fart jokes, but it's there.

And come on, this is hilarious: "If a Dodge Neon is a dude texting 'you up???' to a married woman at 3am, and a Pontiac Sunfire is a woman with Lee Press-On nails who's always getting UTI's because she can't be bothered to pee after sex, then the Volvo 850 is the guy who shows up to his high school reunion and confuses everyone because they could have sworn he was dead."

Or maybe I'm just biased because he did such a spot on obliteration of my previous car:

Last edited by wrybread on Mon May 06, 2019 2:24 am, edited 1 time in total.



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Re: Hilarious take down of the 850/S70

Post by June » Sun May 05, 2019 6:51 pm

These are some of my favorite Doug reviews. A little love for Doug! June

[youtube][/youtube]

[youtube][/youtube]

[youtube][/youtube]

[youtube][/youtube]


My Volvo cars owned
1989 740 GLT ordered
1994 850 4door standard shift ordered
1996 960 ordered
1998 S90 ordered totalled after 3 weeks
1998 V70 GT dealer stock car
2002 S80 T6 ordered totalled
2004 S80 T6 dealer stock car and current car owned

wrybread
Posts: 125
Joined: Sat Apr 20, 2019 4:18 pm
Year and Model: 2000 S70
Location: California
Has thanked: 8 times
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Re: Hilarious take down of the 850/S70

Post by wrybread » Sun May 05, 2019 7:48 pm

All gems. That review of the El Dorado Biarritz is especially awesome. And wow, an American car freak who's never seen a foot switch for brights before (around 6:20). That's like seeing someone confused by how to play a record.
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June



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Re: Hilarious take down of the 850/S70

Post by June » Sun May 05, 2019 8:56 pm

wrybread wrote:
Sun May 05, 2019 7:48 pm
All gems. That review of the El Dorado Biarritz is especially awesome. And wow, an American car freak who's never seen a foot switch for brights before (around 6:20). That's like seeing someone confused by how to play a record.
Or not knowing what the lamp monitors on the fenders actually are... yes the Cadillac review is one of my favorites! Note he missed the rear lamp monitors in the inside top rear window trim. :lol:.

After all very few Millenials have had the opportunity to drive a real American car. The few classic cars left no longer have the correct asbestos brakes and whisper quiet factory exhaust systems for starters much less good door seals for that effortless, smooth, quiet ride they had back then. And unfortunately fuel has changed since the 60s and 70s so there is no way for the engines to run like they did.

So I understand how someone who wasn't around when America made the best products to understand those products. How could they? It does make great comedy though! June


My Volvo cars owned
1989 740 GLT ordered
1994 850 4door standard shift ordered
1996 960 ordered
1998 S90 ordered totalled after 3 weeks
1998 V70 GT dealer stock car
2002 S80 T6 ordered totalled
2004 S80 T6 dealer stock car and current car owned

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Re: Hilarious take down of the 850/S70

Post by abscate » Sun May 05, 2019 9:18 pm

And wow, an American car freak who's never seen a foot switch for brights before (around 6:20). That's like seeing someone confused by how to play a record.
Or finding out you can talk on a phone....


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Re: Hilarious take down of the 850/S70

Post by j-dawg » Mon May 06, 2019 12:51 am

I love Regular Car Reviews. I think the point is more to entertain the audience than to convey useful information; nobody is tuning into Regular Cars so that they can make an informed decision.


1999 V70 T5 5-SPD | ~270k mi | burns more oil than gasoline

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