Legal battle for my son just wrapped up

[matthew1]

It started in September 2021 when my son's mom decided she wanted to take a high-paying job in Seattle... and take our son.

So after nine months, tens of thousands of dollars for my lawyer, two mediations, one Colorado Family Investigator*, and one half-day of an actual trial ("hearing") in front of a judge where I was on the stand, my son will be with me for school years, and with his mom in Seattle in summers.

I can't believe she still moved there after losing in court. I thought she'd call it off, but no, she really moved. It's very sad. What mom moves for a job and leaves her kid?

Anyway, I have my son 73% overnights (school year) now, so I have him more. It's better for him and me.

The amount of emotional energy invested in this was enough to power a small town.

She wasn't like this when we met in 2008. She was fun and pretty then. She has an inability to see the bigger picture. Or one could say she is selfish. I wouldn't argue.

She's making a lot of money and has a prestigious job, but to rational and/or loving people, that's inconsequential if you have to move to a city 1000 miles away.

I stopped trying to figure her out many years ago. She is who she is. I'm at peace (just tired).

For context, we haven't been together since 2011, when my son was 2 years old.


*CFI = psychologist who spends time with all three parties and writes a report, which came out in my favor

[gnalan]

Money isn't everything. Hopefully one day she'll realize that, and what she's lost by moving so far away. I just hope she cherishes the time she does get to spend with him, as I know you do.

Just from the little you've shared here in the forum I can see that you're a great father. Talking to you through email and texting I can tell that you're not only a great father, but also a great friend.

I was happy to hear that he gets to stay with you. I think you and Oliver are good for each other. Now if you can just find a nice 850R project vehicle that you can both work on as his first vehicle...

[pgill]

Matt,

Well done.

Someone told me this once and I have never forgoten it.

I am going to modify it slightly to fit this situation.

Who are you concerned about Matt????........You don't have to worry about Matt, he is a real DAD.



Take care

Paul

[Sveedy]

I had joint custody of my son till he was about 6 or 7. Then he ended up with me full time. Not that his mother didn't care; more that her life style wasn't as conducive toward raising a son. But they were /are still close, so it all worked out. I expect it will for you and your son too. I think it still seems more acceptable for a guy to leave for a job opportunity than a woman, but neither is ideal.

It's been more than 25 years now, and I wouldn't trade a day.
Ok maybe I'm not " raising" him any more, but then again.....

[abscate]

I can’t imagine the emotional toil of events like this, but I am still amazed that my bride of 37 years has put up with my wankerdom , especially since all of her family have guns, chainsaws, hole digging equipment, amd cement.

Thst clip is way too simplistic. You don’t need all those things to participate in society meaningfully.

[matthew1]

Nick, pgill, Sveedy and Steve, thanks for your comments for perspective. Ten years ago if this had happened I'd probably have had a stroke. I was angry back then because my ex blew up our nice little family. Since then I've seen her do that two more times. The most recent one is an awesome guy with a big heart, very generous*, and I badly wanted to tell him "Please know this... she will throw a wrench into your relationship and leave because it's her modus operandi."

*actually they were both awesome guys with a big hearts, and very generous

But of course I couldn't, but man did I want to. It was a true moral dilemma. She left him in September 2021 when she kicked off this plan to take the job and move. Just recently he contacted me and we had a good talk.

At the end of the day, I wouldn't trade my son for anything and I consider all this to be not even a rounding error vs the satisfaction I get from raising him and seeing him grow and enjoy life.

[BlackBart]

These have been some really trying times for you. Being a good dad is worth more than all the other things. The thing I’m most proud of in life is that our two sons are ethical, empathetic human beings.

[matthew1]

One nugget of wisdom I've given him is "Beware of people who are mean to animals."

I grew up knowing this, and it's a gigantic red flag.

This does not include hunters, but if we're going to get super granular, does include trappers.

[abscate]

One nugget of wisdom I've given him is "Beware of people who are mean to animals."

In a somewhat dark twist , this is a common trait shared by serial killers.

[gnalan]

In a somewhat dark twist , this is a common trait shared by serial killers.

Kids don't share their Trix with the silly rabbit. Does this make them grow up to be cereal killers?