Cancer/illnesses, and caregiver, support thread

[gnalan]

It's been awhile since I've posted, so here's an update on my condition...

I've been bedridden for the last two months, with little movement out of bed. What I didn't realize was how bad that was going to be for me. Everything hurts more now than it did to begin with, and my muscles have atrophied quite a bit. I've lost a lot of weight, which I really didn't have to lose to begin with, and I basically look like a skeleton covered with skin and the little bit of muscle I have left.

I didn't do physical therapy, since they thought it would do more damage than do anything to help me, and I've been waiting on my insurance to finally approve my MRIs on my knees so I know what kind of damage has happened.

Up next, after the MRIs, is either surgery then physical therapy, or just physical therapy. I honestly don't know yet. I'm looking at another 2 weeks to get the MRIs done, and then a long, rough, road to get my muscles built back up. I also need to make sure my ankles aren't broken, or if they were broken and healed wrong.

I can't walk at all anymore, even with help. I still have no use of my right leg at all, and I can't stand up straight on my left leg. Even when I could stand on my left leg, straight up, I couldn't lift it to take a step because of the excruciating pain in my ankle. I've turned down both pain pills and muscle relaxers from my Ortho because I'd rather feel the pain and know when to stop moving, or to move in bed, and not have to worry about causing more damage than I already have.

My family has been taking care of me, and making sure I don't get any bedsores (which I haven't, thankfully) from laying in bed 24/7. If it wasn't for them I couldn't do anything, including eating. I can get around in a wheelchair when I need to, but it doesn't fit through the house well enough to actually get up out of bed to sit for awhile.

I still have parts on the way, parts I've already ordered before I got hurt, and parts I've ordered since I got injured. I don't know how long it'll be before I can install them on the car, or when I'll be able to do anything without worrying about reinjuring my legs, but I still want to finish my restoration of my S60.

I haven't been able to see my fiance, and it's too hard on us both to talk on the phone, without crying, so we've been texting a lot.

She's barely able to walk from her chair to the bathroom and back. With all of her health issues, and trying to get rides to and from her doctor appts, she has more questions than answers about what's going on, lots of pain, and losing mobility more and more each day.

We're both still trying to hang in there, but we each have days where we just want everything to end. Neither of us like when we talk like that, but we both have counselors that we can talk to.

I just want to be able to walk again. I miss my fiance more than anything, and until I can walk up and down outside stairs without falling I'm unable to see her in person. We've never been apart this long, and we both have more time we'll have to wait. I know I'm not going to get better overnight. Even with surgery I'll still need a lot of physical therapy to rebuild my muscles, and to learn to walk again.

I'll update more when I know more, and keep everyone updated with my progress. I'll also do the same with my fiance when she finds out what's all going on with her, and what her doctors plan to do.

[gnalan]

I was able to get both of my knee MRIs done today. I have no clue what anything means except what fractures and sprains are. Hopefully my Ortho will describe it to me better than what I can interpret it to mean using Google's help.

I can fix a car from the ground up, bumper to bumper, but I can't fix or understand the human body and how complex it is. If I was a robot I'm sure I could fix myself, but that isn't the case unfortunately. I can't peel back my skin, grab ratchets and sockets and fix what's wrong, but I think it would be neat if I could.

I'm assuming I'll need surgery on one or both knees, and then a ton of physical therapy. My muscles have atrophied to the point where I don't like the way my legs look, and I can't move my legs hardly at all let alone walk anymore. Hopefully that'll change soon and I can get back to my fiance. I haven't seen her in months, and I cry a lot knowing that she needs help with her health, and getting around, and I can't be there to help her.

[abscate]

Thinking of you, hang in there p.

[gnalan]

I saw the neurologist today, after my Ortho couldn't figure out what is going on with my legs. The neurologist and his medical assistant spent quite a bit of time with me, and they were bouncing ideas back and forth trying to figure out what it might or might not be. It finally felt good to have a Dr listen to everything I had to say, and checked my legs/feet out thoroughly. Lots of lab work today, and 2 upcoming MRIs on my thoracic spine and cervical spine.

On a sad note, me and my fiance decided it was best for both of us if we split up. Between my health, and hers, it was too much for us both to be in a relationship right now. She might have cancer again, and according to the neurologist today what's going on with my legs may be permanent (meaning I'll never walk again).

[gnalan]

I had both a cervical spine and a thoracic spine MRI done yesterday. I don't see the neurologist again until the 16th, and I see the ortho on the 12th. Hopefully I'll get some answers soon.

My aunt passed away a couple of days ago. I haven't talked to her in a while so I don't know what happened. She was only 61. In the physical shape I'm in I have no way of getting out to the Pacific northwest to go to her funeral.

This year has been a pretty rough one for me. I'm so used to taking care of other people that it just doesn't feel right being the one that needs help. Since I lost the ability to walk I barely leave my bed. When I do it's usually for a doctor's appt, or more tests, and my younger brother carries me from my bed to the car, and then carries me back in from the car when we get back. The first time he picked me up I lost it and broke down crying. This isn't how I ever thought I'd end up. I'm still trying to find out why all of this is happening, and what, if anything, can be done to get my legs working so I can hopefully walk again.

Me and my ex are still talking, which is good. I don't know what the future has in store for us, but right now we're trying to stay friends.

I still have my S60, and a ton of new parts to put on it still. I'm wanting to get everything on if fixed that I can, and finish it up so I can start putting it in car shows. I have a few minor dents that need fixed, and the windshield needs replaced, neither of which I know how to do myself. Then a new paint job, eventually, to finish it off. I already have the parts sitting around to fix everything that I know of that needs fixed. I just need to figure out what's going on with my legs so I can get back to working on it.

I'll update again after I see the Ortho and the neurologist. Hopefully between the two of them they'll have some answers for me.

[gnalan]

I don't know why this thread says topic solved. Can someone remove that for me?

[gnalan]

I can stand, even though my knees won't allow my legs to fully straighten up. I also walked for the first time today, with the help of my walker. I thought I'd take a few steps and that's all I'd be able to do and ended up walking (waddling) around the house for awhile. I'm sore, and worn out, but I'm making progress. So thankful to be on my feet again.

[volvolugnut]

Keep moving as you can. A walker can make you more mobile and independent.
My wife has made much improvement in the last six months. She also uses a walker, but can now walk for more than 1/2 hour at a time.
If therapy tries to tell you you have made no progress and they can no longer work with you, then get a script from your doctors to another place for therapy. Most places seem to expect quick improvement.
volvolugnut

[MoVolvos]

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[matthew1]

BKM, please no more YouTube medical/health videos. I appreciate your earnest, helping nature, but they distract from the overall MVS Forums purpose.

If you have personal, firsthand experience, I welcome your input on whatever topic it happens to be. That stuff is gold. Third parties that nobody knows are always suspect, by default, to me and many others here, especially if there are ads in the videos. That means the author of the video has a financial interest in the video.

Volvo YouTube videos are also more than welcome.

Thanks in advance for understanding.