Humor is fine - God knows we could all use a good laugh every now and then. If there is a chance that someone might not get the joke use a smiley or something. There have been a very few cases where people take it the wrong way.
IMHO is fine - B4 is not. If you are responding to a poster from a country where English is not the primary language you might want to spell it out.
Common contractions are perfectly acceptable.
Trust me, you are not a problem. There are a few serial offenders that use no capitalization, punctuation, and extensively use "Text" language. I don't even read their questions anymore. While MVS doesn't have an ignore function there are so few of them that I just mentally keep track of them.
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