2002 XC70 Front end wobble...amoung other things

[JeffKv70xc]

I love my Volvo...I really do. But it doesn't love me. I've had it for 3 years. In that time, I've replaced front pads, rotors, hubs...starter...battery...currently engaged in an epic struggle with a leaking AC hose that I put on to replace the one that blew off...in July...in South Carolina...
I think that this is just stuff that's just worn out after 181,000 miles.

Anyway..here are my symptoms...

Tires wearing out on both sides. I was told by a very honest mechanic that the bushings on the control arms are worn and need replacing...and that accounts for the oddly worn tires.
Now the front end is wobbling...quite a bit. The wheel jerks from left to right at low speed (>20 mph)...calms down a bit... and becomes a shudder at about 50mph. From what I've read, this could be...
...the control arm bushings
...a tire about to separate
...a worn tie rod

Today, the wobble became so bad that I pulled over at Starbucks to check my tires for any bubbles or visible signs that their structural integrity is about to give way. Nothing that I could see...except that the PS tire looks like it's had a bench grinder taken to it. I jacked up both sides...lug studs tight...no give on the hubs...all 4 tires were exactly the correct PSI.
I did notice one thing that gave me pause...the inside of the wheel well had a couple of what looked like wet spots. I've been under the hood and under the car trying to get that accursed ac hose to not leak, so I know the spots are new...a day or two at the most...about as long as the wobble became noticeable enough to worry me. I checked the spot with my finger...it felt like oil. I checked farther up the inside of the wheel well...its everywhere...like it was sprayed on when something broke. I check the top of the strut...yup...the boot is separated and the shaft is coated with oil.

Can anyone tell me
1) how to check the tire for imminent separation in a magical way that doesn't involve my changing or switching tires around? I have a small collection of titanium rods and screws in my lower spine that become quite irate when I pick up a tire iron.
and/or
2) any other observations/impressions/words of wisdom that might help me solve this issue and avoid blowing out a tire and dying in a fiery crash.

[vtl]

Front LCA bushings may be alone responsible for all shakes and vibrations. But at this age it would be wise to refresh the whole suspension plus steering rods, if you like the car.